isurg

Donald Trump has announced he’s cancelled the ceasefire in Gaza following the Nobel Committee’s decision not to award him this year’s Peace Prize.

Despite his great work in stopping multiple wars that nobody had ever heard of, Trump was furious to learn the Nobel Committee had the audacity to award the prize to someone else, leading the US president to immediately cancel any peace plans in the Middle East.

“I was robbed,” said Trump, tossing his homemade Nobel medal made from yoghurt lids into the bin. [...]

Archived: Wayback Machine

Republican Senator Ted Cruz thinks we need to “stop attacking pedophiles.”

The Texas senator made the brutal (potentially) Freudian slip during a Senate hearing about crime on Tuesday.

“Senator Booker also said we should have bipartisan agreement. I think that’s a great idea, we should have bipartisan agreement,” Cruz said. “How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop murders?’ How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop rapes?’ How ’bout we all come together and say, ‘Let’s stop attacking pedophiles?’” [...]

(other outlets portray it as more clearly a mistake, but we're rewarding the outlet leaning into the clickbait because it's more onion-y 🫠)

Ted Cruz Verbatim Says, “Let’s Stop Attacking Pedophiles”

The Texas senator made a Freudian slip in a congressional hearing.

The New Republic (newrepublic.com)