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  3. Does money and status matter in a relationship?

Does money and status matter in a relationship?

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askmen
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  • G This user is from outside of this forum
    G This user is from outside of this forum
    grimreaper@sopuli.xyz
    wrote last edited by
    #1

    I feel like my family is super hypocritical when it comes to this. My mom, aunt, and cousin tell me things like:

    “You need to bring something to the table in a relationship.”

    “You both need to pour into each other.”

    “You need a job to date.”

    Etc., etc.

    Okay — so today we were talking about wealthy people and what we’d do if we had hundreds of millions or even a billion dollars. I said I’d probably send my kids to an elite private school. They asked, “Why?”

    I said, “My son wouldn’t date a Starbucks barista, and my daughter wouldn’t date the pizza guy.”

    These same family members immediately said that was classist and wrong, and that money shouldn’t be a determining factor in a relationship.

    …Umm, what?!

    These were the same people who said:
    “You need to bring something to the table.”
    “You both need to pour into each other.”

    Okay — then why wouldn’t the same logic apply to me in this scenario? What would some pizza delivery guy bring to the table for a billionaire heiress? Same with my son. If anything, shouldn’t he be dating someone who also comes from a wealthy or noble family?

    I changed the scenario again and asked them: “If I were a lawyer or had some other high-paying job, and I chose not to date a poor woman — is that wrong?”

    They said it was wrong and dumb.

    Do you see the glaring hypocrisy?

    Edit: What would you think about a 28 year old wealthy woman dating a 22 year old college student? Do you think the 22 year old could not bring anything to their relationship?

    S 1 Reply Last reply
    0
    • G grimreaper@sopuli.xyz

      I feel like my family is super hypocritical when it comes to this. My mom, aunt, and cousin tell me things like:

      “You need to bring something to the table in a relationship.”

      “You both need to pour into each other.”

      “You need a job to date.”

      Etc., etc.

      Okay — so today we were talking about wealthy people and what we’d do if we had hundreds of millions or even a billion dollars. I said I’d probably send my kids to an elite private school. They asked, “Why?”

      I said, “My son wouldn’t date a Starbucks barista, and my daughter wouldn’t date the pizza guy.”

      These same family members immediately said that was classist and wrong, and that money shouldn’t be a determining factor in a relationship.

      …Umm, what?!

      These were the same people who said:
      “You need to bring something to the table.”
      “You both need to pour into each other.”

      Okay — then why wouldn’t the same logic apply to me in this scenario? What would some pizza delivery guy bring to the table for a billionaire heiress? Same with my son. If anything, shouldn’t he be dating someone who also comes from a wealthy or noble family?

      I changed the scenario again and asked them: “If I were a lawyer or had some other high-paying job, and I chose not to date a poor woman — is that wrong?”

      They said it was wrong and dumb.

      Do you see the glaring hypocrisy?

      Edit: What would you think about a 28 year old wealthy woman dating a 22 year old college student? Do you think the 22 year old could not bring anything to their relationship?

      S This user is from outside of this forum
      S This user is from outside of this forum
      slazer2au@lemmy.world
      wrote last edited by
      #2

      No, wealth and status doesn't matter.

      And for the 50th time. yes, late 20s can date early 20s. You sure are persistent in asking about age gaps.

      G 1 Reply Last reply
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      • S slazer2au@lemmy.world

        No, wealth and status doesn't matter.

        And for the 50th time. yes, late 20s can date early 20s. You sure are persistent in asking about age gaps.

        G This user is from outside of this forum
        G This user is from outside of this forum
        grimreaper@sopuli.xyz
        wrote last edited by
        #3

        No, wealth and status doesn’t matter.

        Ok, so what do they mean by "bring something to the table"… By this logic, a pizza delivery guy can offer NOTHING to a girl who comes from a multi-millionaire family.

        P 1 Reply Last reply
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        • G grimreaper@sopuli.xyz

          No, wealth and status doesn’t matter.

          Ok, so what do they mean by "bring something to the table"… By this logic, a pizza delivery guy can offer NOTHING to a girl who comes from a multi-millionaire family.

          P This user is from outside of this forum
          P This user is from outside of this forum
          partial_accumen@lemmy.world
          wrote last edited by
          #4

          Ok, so what do they mean by “bring something to the table”.... By this logic, a pizza delivery guy can offer NOTHING to a girl who comes from a multi-millionaire family.

          Maybe he's delivering pizza because he recently returned from a Americorps mission helping to set up irrigation systems in an impoverish region. Perhaps he recently got laid off from his work at NOAA as climate scientist because trump doesn't believe in that and the pizza guy still has bills to pay, so he takes the work he can get. Maybe he's an sculptor that delivers pizza at night because he spends his days in hi studio chipping away at a giant chunk of marble because he can see a beautiful object in that rock and just needs remove everything that doesn't belong.

          A person can have more value or character because of what they do outside of how they pay their bills rather than inside of it. A girl from a multi-millionaire family may have a trust fund and doesn't need to earn any more money so she could choose a mate that has made a life of meaning. Hell, if I didn't have to work for money I'd love to so many of those things I listed above.

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